Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is stepping up his social media game in order to reach the coveted millennial demographic. Earlier this week he gave an interview to CNN via the photo and video messaging application Snapchat, and now he plans to distribute the audio of a fake phone call between Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton via Twitter and other social platforms.
Bush: “Hey, Hill. It’s Jeb.”
Clinton: “Hey, Jeb. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
Bush: “Well, it’s true — I’m thinking about running for president.”
Clinton: “Well, Jeb, so am I.”
Bush: “I just wanted to call and give you a heads up in hopes we could work something out.”
Clinton: “What do you mean, Jeb? It’s clearly my turn: Bush, Clinton, Bush. Now, Clinton.”
Bush: “Well, Hillary, there hasn’t been a Republican White House without a Bush since 1977, and we’re ready to be back.”
Clinton: “Let me shoot straight with you, Jeb, OK? Bill and I are dead broke and need a place to stay. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is calling me home — I’ve still got the back door key. Being president offers a lot more job security than writing another memoir.”
Bush: “Well, the Bushes have weathered attacks before. And, READ MY LIPS, Hillary: We’re not backing down this time.”
Clinton: “Well, you’re right — maybe we can work something out. We both agree on so many issues: bigger government, Common Core and amnesty for illegal immigrants.”
Bush: “Well, we’ve both got problems. You’ve got problems with the grass roots, and I’ve got all those damn conservatives. What say, we make a deal?”
[Call beeps in.]
Bush: “Sorry, Hillary, but I have to go. Mitt keeps calling.”
Clinton: “Oh, for crying out loud.”
If this isn’t an indication that Paul intends to run for president, it’s at the very least proof that we need someone new in the White House.
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